Why is it when I think i have it figured out, and my mind and heart are made up, you step back into the picture…?
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<3
If it weren’t for the way you were for 8 years, the way you treated me, ignored me, your attitude and me having to fight little chicks for your sake … I wouldnt apriciate the man you have become now… The good morning txts, the staying at my house till 4am when you have to work at 9, the cuddleing on the couch watching movies, supporting everything I do, trying to make me happy, the complements. The fact that you tell me you care about me when your worried. The way my heart races when you hug me, kiss me, hold my hand and tell me you love me. The way my tummy turns when you txt or call… And the fact that you were the first person to make my heart smile :D… God knows exactly what he’s doing even if it does take 8 years and I’m glad he put you back in my life :D… I love you…
He’s the only man in the world I can be completely comfortable around, yet can make me nervous at the drop of a hat… The only one that can make my heart beat faster, and slower at the same time… The only one who can love me and hate me at the same time… The only reason I get up in the morning but somedays the reason I don’t wanna get out of bed… The only man who can make me happy, but also make me cry… The best I’ve ever had, but the worst at the same time… The only man I can talk to, but can’t talk too… He’s the reason why my lifespan upside down and oddly enough I’m okay with that…
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Somedays
Dear cody, Man its hard to be writing a letter that starts with those words instead of a txt message… I can’t believe you’ve been gone a full week today. It hurts to know I can’t jus pick up the phone and call and get a response on the other end. I’ll never see you and we won’t be able to hang out… Those thoughts KILL me inside. I jus want to ask God why, I need a response to that question… I think we all do… I think baby rilley desserves that answer most though. I can’t help but think about our years as friends… 15 years is such a long time… But it seems like we jus met yesterday, in kindergarten. Lol we had so much fun. I think I ate lunch with you everyday into high school. We had class together got in trouble together. No more of that though… If I’m gonna get myself in trouble it will be with other people… It’s not fair to know that. Noone else would have my back like you did. Noone else sees that there is something greater in me like you did. This whole thing isn’t fair. Just know that you were loved and always will be… Goodbye Cody Sean Holland… This is me letting go, but no I will never forget…
